


And Eliot Makes Three

by Unforth



Series: Tumblr Ficlets: Other Fandoms [7]
Category: Leverage
Genre: Canon Compliant, Established Relationship, Implied bottom Eliot, Marriage Proposal, Multi, Pansexual Hardison, Polyamory, Polygamy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-25
Updated: 2017-04-25
Packaged: 2018-10-23 23:37:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10729647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unforth/pseuds/Unforth
Summary: Tumblr ficlet written to the prompt: any OT3 prompt from Leverage. Probably a fake married one would be hilarious as they try to decide who is and isn't married.





	And Eliot Makes Three

**Author's Note:**

  * For [poD7et](https://archiveofourown.org/users/poD7et/gifts).



> The past couple weeks, I've taken prompts for short fics and written and posted them on Tumblr. I wanted to post them on AO3 as well but have been considering how best to do so. A quick survey of my subscribers and followers suggests that people would prefer if I post them all as individual stories and put them in a series together instead of as multiple chapters on the same file or any other of several options, so that's what I'm doing.
> 
> Please note that I generally do not take "out of nowhere" prompts, cause I don't have time, but I will sometimes ask people to send me ideas and I'll write them in the order I receive them. 
> 
> You can follow me on Tumblr at [unforth-ninawaters](unforth-ninawaters.tumblr.com).
> 
> Make sure you read the prompt! 
> 
>  
> 
> [~original post~](http://unforth-ninawaters.tumblr.com/post/159982943973/pod7et-alright-everyone-on-three-one)
> 
>  
> 
> Prompt, from pod7et:  
> I'll sit and wait for any ot3 prompt from Leverage. Probably a fake married one would be hilarious as they try to decide who is and isn't married. Hardison wants to be married to Parker with Eliot as his manservant...but Parker thinks it would be /funny/ if Hardison and Eliot were married. And Eliot is not having ANY of it and says that he'll be fake married to Parker...none of these are what happens. Or perhaps all of them do. They all take on multiple characters and they all make HILARIOUS mistakes and end up being run out of the party and having a wonderful 'after party.'
> 
> Ahahahaha...caveat on the fic. Ends with Parker proposing...to both of them. Small argument as to who she's proposing to. (both...both is good). Then about if it's a for realsies proposal. (it is). And Eliot grumbling about how you can't do that and Parker being confused...

“Alright, everyone - on three. One, two–”

“Not it!” Parker interrupted, holding up her hand.

“I hadn’t said _three_  yet,” Eliot snarled.

“When has playing by the rules ever gotten any of us anywhere?” she countered with a smirk.

“Well, there was that one time,” said Hardison, ticking off a mystery point on one finger, “oh, and that other,” two fingers, “and that one - oh yeah, we played by the rules _so_ good that time, and–”

“Hardison!”

“Wha?”

“ _Not helping_ ,” said Eliot through gritted teeth, heaving a sigh. “Look, Parker, we’ve been over this. Hardison and I can’t play the couple, it’ll draw too much attention.”

“Why? Gay marriage is really common now!”

“Hey, not gay!” Hardison protested.

“Great, and now he’s not gay.” Eliot rolled his eyes. “Why don’t _you two_  get hitched, then, ‘not gay’ and ‘not it’ are made for each other.”

“I am _not gay_ ,” Hardison repeated emphatically. Parker rose from her chair, slipped behind him, and pantomimed his movements and speech pattern. “I am _pansexual_  and _queer_  and when you disrespect my identity you disrespect me and dammit where did Parker go, she’s standing behind me, isn’t she? Yeah - of course she is. Look, it’s easy - I need to handle the security system, so you two go get hitched, and let me _work_. Ya’ll hurt a guys _feelings_ , arguing about which of you want to be married to me _less_ , I get it, okay? Just a…” He trailed off, mumbling, poking at his phone.

“Fine,” said Eliot, throwing up his hands. “Parker, let’s go check the jewelry stash for matching rings that fit. We’ve wasted enough time on this argument.”

“Wait, which of you am I married to?” asked Parker.

“Neither!” Hardison and Eliot said simultaneously. 

Parker pouted until they pulled out the casket where the jewelry was kept. Nothing cheered her up like more gold and gems and platinum and jade than she could hold in her cupped hands. Seeing her smile, Eliot’s sour mood eased. They were both idiots, so much younger and less experienced than he, so determined that this threesome when work when it had been the two of them originally and would be the two of them long after Eliot finally did something stupid enough to get himself killed. But until then, he could indulge them, he supposed. 

The hardest part was to get Parker to _stop_  picking out pretties and stashing them in her pockets.

Hours later, Eliot had to amend that thought. The hardest part hadn’t been getting a ring on his finger. The hardest part hadn’t been trying to play two different men simultaneously, one married to Parker, the other married to Hardison. The hardest part hadn’t been when he got caught mid-change and the job went to hell. The hardest part hadn’t even been taking a few hits so Parker could make a clean escape.

No, _this_  was definitely the hardest part.

“Are you _insane_?” said Eliot.

“Hey, hey, we _do not_  use the ‘i’ word–”

“That really hurt my feelings, Eliot.”

“–we know it hurts Parker’s feelings, come on, baby, Eliot didn’t mean it, he’s just surprised.”

“I meant _you_ , Hardison! If you guys want to _make this real_  by all means, go for it! No one is holding you back!” _Can we please just stop talking about this? I want it too much for any of this to be okay with me._

“No! Nate and Sophie, they taught me to be _honest_  about my feelings, and this is me, being honest! I’m marrying both of you.”

“You can’t _do_  that, Parker!”

“Why not?” she asked with actual confusion. Eliot raked a frustrated hand down his face. 

“Hardison, for the love of…talk sense in to her!” he said.

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll do that, right after I…” Hardison stopped typing with a flourish. “Alright, boys and girls…uh…boy and girl, we are good to go.”

“Thank friggen _God_ , I can’t _wait_  to put this whole shitshow of a job behind us and–”

Hardison flicked over his phone and an image appeared on their projector - an engagement announcement for Parker, obviously in her Alice White alias, to one of Hardison in that damned Ice Man bullshit outfit he’d pulled. 

“Hardi–”

Eliot had never been interrupted by a silent cocky grin before, but there was no answering that look on Hardison’s face. Hardison flicked over his phone again and another announcement turned up - Parker and Eliot, as themselves - and another flick interrupted Eliot’s next strangled attempt at an interjection, Hardison and IT guy Eliot.

That _had_ been a good look for him…the glasses…Parker _loved_  him in the glasses. With a sigh, Eliot deflated.

“Really?” he asked. Though his tone was resigned, there was a warm glow in his chest. He couldn’t deny that he _wanted_  this. But it was a terrible idea.

“Really,” said Hardison and Parker, staring at him hard. 

“Unless you’re going to keep being a little bitch about it,” Hardison added.

“Hey, you _love_ it when I’m a little bitch,” Eliot said pointedly.

“Yep, we both do,” said Parker with a gentle smile. Eliot sighed again. God, no matter how hard he tried to do the right thing - the wrong thing? whatever - these two always twisted him around so damn _easy_  and the worst part was…

“Fine,” he conceded.

“Yes!” Parker gave an adorable jump, punching a fist in the air, and Hardison smirked like his damn mouth had gotten stuck like that.

…the worst part was he absolutely _loved_ them for this kind of bullshit.

_Guess I’m getting married._

_Twice._


End file.
